Sam Montgomery: Big Time Reviewer
by My Name is Sophia
Summary: Sam tells the world her opinion of the Jonas Brother stories.


_A Note From Sarah: This is a simple and sweet lil' story for all of the Jonas Brothers writers here. Sam, AKA the one that _A Cinderella Story **surrounds**_, is about to tell you what she thinks about all of your Jonas Brothers stories. As in, why she hates them and is disgusted. Duh, you idiots..._

_And I _expect_ flames. Who cares if you're flamed? It's a very, very small part of life. Really. So if you say that I have no life at all, let's say that I'll just laugh._

_Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. From the horrid band that Disney calls the Jonas Brothers, their pathetic fans, and _A Cinderella Story_ to _Camp Rock_, I don't own them in any way, shape, or form. Uh, do I even sound pro? NO. After all, I'm only fourteen. Now, on with Sam's very important and meaningful ranting!_

Y'know, I recently went to this website and read some of what my truly wonderful and true fans have written about me and Austin. After all, their were over two thousand, which surprised me. I'm that popular? Well, when I clicked on _A Cinderella Story_, I wasn't happy with what I found. They were all stories surrounding the Jonas Brothers!

Ugh, why are there so many Jonas Brothers stories in my section? It's retarded! A Cinderella Story is about how I got Austin Ames, my Prince Charming, found the will of my father and got my rights, got the diner back, and got over my fear of Fiona, _not _about the Jonas Brothers. Seriously, JB-FAN-4-EVER, the starter of this fad, is an idiot. In fact, you're all idiots! This is my story, my fandom, my own place. Not yours. If you wanna break the rules, at least do it in the _Camp Rock _section. But I'll still report you if you do. I'm equipped, even at Princeton. Only I can't physically hurt you.

And another thing to remember: The Jonas Brothers have nothing to do with me. Why are there so many stories? It's about moi, not the Jonas Brothers. In fact, the Jonas Brothers are the worst band ever! They're an insult to music. And in fact, they'll be over someday. Come on, they'll be yesterday's news, yesterday's band, like Backstreet Boys or N'Sync.

I can't stand this. I'll get every story reported, and then, they will be removed until only fics surrounding my story are the survivors.

Something else: They're real people. You're breaking the rules that you _agreed_ to accept. You agreed to follow them. You broke them. You failed. The writers of the stories that surround the Jonas Brothers are hypocrites. And think about how you'd feel if you found out that you were being written about in a story. Wouldn't you be pretty angry? Thought so.

I've also noticed that a few of your stories are about you having your dumb fantasies about you and the Jonas Brothers come true. Um, that's disgusting. If you have a sexual dream, keep it to yourself, or write about it in a diary. It'll press down your lust and sexual desires. I do it, and it calms me down and stops my bad thoughts and brings in more good. God, it's _not_ that hard. And I thought that they wear Purity Rings, promising to keep their virginity until marriage. Big slap in the face for ya lustful writers, huh?

And the Mary Sue like behavior in your stories! Eek! A Mary Sue is a thinly disguised version of the author, flawless, and too lovable for words. Uh, that's annoying, and no one is like that! UGH! OPEN UP YOUR STINKIN' EYES!

My father often told me to stand up for what is right. Well, I _don't _mean to burst your bubble, but these stories are just wrong and against my rightful fandom. Gosh, is it too much to ask for some order around here?

I _will_ report all of you. It _is_ against the Terms of Service, which you accepted and BROKE! Gosh, it's so stupid. Idiots...

I've contacted the heads of this website. They have been told of your absurd behavior and atrocious stories. It's my time to fight back. It's my time to shine!

Look, I'm sorry if I'm being mean, but hey, what am I supposed to do? _Encourage_ you?! Okay, then...

Ooh look, some big tough wrestlers are here took kill your stories. Better kill the stories yourself, eh? Roscoe and Julian will give you some time, won't you? Thanks, guys. Now, delete your stories before I change my mind about keeping the two away. NOW.

_Okay, my first story! I hope that y'all liked it and made a point to all you naive little writers! Ciao!_

_Sarah _


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